Positive thinking.
It has been a very long time since I have felt the need to post. So much has happened and continues to. KD and I are navigating our way through an ocean of emotion, both ours and others. It at times seems as if there are no sign posts, no way of navigating at all and then out of the black comes someone or something that helps you with your direction.
I was recently feeling quite lost. Some external circumstances as outlined in KD's post on poison, (www.powerfulsubmission.blogspot.com), were causing me some heartache. I then read a post from the blog of a wonderfully wise man, John Allison.
I have unashamedly copied this in total. It seems so appropriate and I know that there will be readers who will find it so as well. Please visit his site, it is linked to the title of this post
Please enjoy...
There’s a passage by Francis of Assisi, in which he points out that ‘those who love you, who serve you, who give you food and clothing, do good indeed to your bodies; but those who persecute you, who are angry with you, who injure you, do much more good to your souls’. And he goes on to say that ‘all people are therefore your friends, and no one is to be called an enemy; all are your benefactors, and no one does you harm: you have no enemy except yourselves.’
Now, I don’t think this excuses us; it certainly is not a justification for nastiness. Nor does it validate any pleasure we might derive from seeing someone suffering at the hands of another. But I do think it is a healthy way to look at our own circumstances. If something happens to me, and I blame someone else, perhaps even seeking revenge for the act, apart from a certain smugness and self-righteousness I might feel for a while, in fact I accomplish nothing satisfactory. There’s an old saying, that ‘the sword I would thrust through my enemy’s heart, I have already thrust through my own’. If, instead, I try to understand the degree to which I have conspired in my self-harm, how I have put myself into the situation with such thorough-going effort, then I also find in that situation an opportunity for growth. The other person, towards whom I could readily develop quite a lot of grievance, is really someone I’ve decided I need for my development. I’ve asked for it. Not consciously, but certainly conscientiously. That is, my reluctance to do the work voluntarily leads to it being forced upon me. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross talks of how we avoid our development through acts of denial, anger, and bargaining; if we would come to terms with these theatrical displays, we would then hear the still, small voice of conscience telling us the truth.
This is not a simple attitude-shift. It’s difficult, and most people attempting it will need support. But it is the way to move from being a victim to being a victor over our own circumstances. Everyone knows how tiresome a victim can be; yet we can quite readily inflict the story of how hard it is for us – especially for ‘poor me’! – upon anyone at hand. How much more interesting it is when we hear how previously-undiscovered powers were found in rising to the occasion. And even more interesting, the revelation of those powers through which we caused the occasion!
There’s another great saying: ‘If I do not forgive, I harm myself a second time’. If we incarcerate grievance, it may become carcinoma. Why would we want to do that to ourselves, unless we have indeed decided to thrust the sword through our own hearts? If we get away from the hiss of the Sword, then we can come to the Word. What words then can be spoken, which change situations? Usually they are questions rather than statements. Such questions may begin from ‘Why have I set this up for myself?’ leading to ‘How can I change this situation, to the advantage of everyone?’
Such questions are mild, compared with the statements we could make. But there is steel underneath, for to ask a question paradoxically requires some inner certainty. There is more courage evident in asking an open question than in wearing armour and laying about oneself with a sword.
I was recently feeling quite lost. Some external circumstances as outlined in KD's post on poison, (www.powerfulsubmission.blogspot.com), were causing me some heartache. I then read a post from the blog of a wonderfully wise man, John Allison.
I have unashamedly copied this in total. It seems so appropriate and I know that there will be readers who will find it so as well. Please visit his site, it is linked to the title of this post
Please enjoy...
There’s a passage by Francis of Assisi, in which he points out that ‘those who love you, who serve you, who give you food and clothing, do good indeed to your bodies; but those who persecute you, who are angry with you, who injure you, do much more good to your souls’. And he goes on to say that ‘all people are therefore your friends, and no one is to be called an enemy; all are your benefactors, and no one does you harm: you have no enemy except yourselves.’
Now, I don’t think this excuses us; it certainly is not a justification for nastiness. Nor does it validate any pleasure we might derive from seeing someone suffering at the hands of another. But I do think it is a healthy way to look at our own circumstances. If something happens to me, and I blame someone else, perhaps even seeking revenge for the act, apart from a certain smugness and self-righteousness I might feel for a while, in fact I accomplish nothing satisfactory. There’s an old saying, that ‘the sword I would thrust through my enemy’s heart, I have already thrust through my own’. If, instead, I try to understand the degree to which I have conspired in my self-harm, how I have put myself into the situation with such thorough-going effort, then I also find in that situation an opportunity for growth. The other person, towards whom I could readily develop quite a lot of grievance, is really someone I’ve decided I need for my development. I’ve asked for it. Not consciously, but certainly conscientiously. That is, my reluctance to do the work voluntarily leads to it being forced upon me. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross talks of how we avoid our development through acts of denial, anger, and bargaining; if we would come to terms with these theatrical displays, we would then hear the still, small voice of conscience telling us the truth.
This is not a simple attitude-shift. It’s difficult, and most people attempting it will need support. But it is the way to move from being a victim to being a victor over our own circumstances. Everyone knows how tiresome a victim can be; yet we can quite readily inflict the story of how hard it is for us – especially for ‘poor me’! – upon anyone at hand. How much more interesting it is when we hear how previously-undiscovered powers were found in rising to the occasion. And even more interesting, the revelation of those powers through which we caused the occasion!
There’s another great saying: ‘If I do not forgive, I harm myself a second time’. If we incarcerate grievance, it may become carcinoma. Why would we want to do that to ourselves, unless we have indeed decided to thrust the sword through our own hearts? If we get away from the hiss of the Sword, then we can come to the Word. What words then can be spoken, which change situations? Usually they are questions rather than statements. Such questions may begin from ‘Why have I set this up for myself?’ leading to ‘How can I change this situation, to the advantage of everyone?’
Such questions are mild, compared with the statements we could make. But there is steel underneath, for to ask a question paradoxically requires some inner certainty. There is more courage evident in asking an open question than in wearing armour and laying about oneself with a sword.
posted by Fian at 12:25 PM
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